How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
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