You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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