why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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