I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
