Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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