my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
