She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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