Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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