bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
