Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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