Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
