going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
