i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
