she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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