Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont even know how to be here
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
