elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
