You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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