Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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