Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
