New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
