They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
