Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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