i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
