Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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