and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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