the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
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You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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