margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.