well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
