Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
