i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.