I'm sorry my penis didn't work
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Randomize