fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
