I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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