whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
