Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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