i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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