So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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