I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
