It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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