I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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