we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
