totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
