dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
