Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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  (702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg
  Replies (32) Good night (5003) Bad night (1059)
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  (562): View more from California

  How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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  (562): How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std? http://tfl.nu/ee21
  Replies (26) Good night (696) Bad night (5242)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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  (410): Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together http://tfl.nu/isyr
  Replies (12) Good night (5414) Bad night (1248)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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  (678): Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember. http://tfl.nu/s3lo
  Replies (51) Good night (4705) Bad night (1472)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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  (440): We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate. http://tfl.nu/v1r2
  Replies (9) Good night (1685) Bad night (4365)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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  (480): Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like. http://tfl.nu/rdz5
  Replies (15) Good night (836) Bad night (4242)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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  (860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0
  Replies (57) Good night (1499) Bad night (6842)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime

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  (406): just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime http://tfl.nu/zrav
  Replies (6) Good night (2810) Bad night (820)
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  (562): View more from California

  as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.

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  (562): as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment. http://tfl.nu/n398
  Replies (13) Good night (1953) Bad night (733)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.

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  (906): I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night. http://tfl.nu/lw8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (588)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.

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  (505): Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit. http://tfl.nu/8do4
  Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (468)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
  Replies (8) Good night (886) Bad night (443)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea

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  (506): i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea http://tfl.nu/yqel
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (318)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.

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  (609): 17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me. http://tfl.nu/mvi8
  Replies (5) Good night (376) Bad night (1205)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude

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  (315): Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude http://tfl.nu/8w6o
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (317)

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