help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us