Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing. http://tfl.nu/huj4
  Replies (17) Good night (847) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi
  Replies (20) Good night (961) Bad night (2714)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them http://tfl.nu/s8n3
  Replies (30) Good night (5341) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1203) Bad night (3458)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on http://tfl.nu/c1eq
  Replies (19) Good night (5279) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward. http://tfl.nu/juz7
  Replies (18) Good night (7159) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1020) Bad night (3626)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost http://tfl.nu/e5ly
  Replies (4) Good night (3011) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse. http://tfl.nu/1ru8
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (2157)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured (617): I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed http://tfl.nu/ilci
  Replies (14) Good night (2536) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF? http://tfl.nu/2o7d
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here http://tfl.nu/yv0c
  Replies (4) Good night (1111) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (12) Good night (1948) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/dsmd
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now http://tfl.nu/v3ja
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (185)

Randomize