I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.