your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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