he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
