just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I cockslap morals
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
