He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What a dumb baby whore.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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