why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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