He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
