Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When are your genitals available?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
