My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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