i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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