Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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