So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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