i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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