wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't think brook has ever known best
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I need moral support for this bender
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
