my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
