I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
someone owes me an orgasm
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
