I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
