so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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