Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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