No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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