Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
