So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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