He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
