Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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