And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
