My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
