it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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