We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
