: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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